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What Your Car Says About You

The things we own tend to define our personalities in ways that can’t be expressed through words. You can learn a lot about someone by the clothes they wear, the way they style their hair and especially by what kind of vehicle they drive. Here are 15 cars that make a statement about their owners.

Lincoln Continental

This couch on wheels drives like a boat on land. Riding around in this bad body says, “My grandmother has passed on, and this is what she left me.”

Mini Cooper

A few years ago, Americans couldn’t even get a new Mini. Riding around in this glorified golf cart says, “I wish I lived in Europe and I am definitely not trying to compensate for anything. Seriously, you have to believe me.”

Ford Focus

Though Ford has made these cars a bit better looking in recent years, the Focus says, “I wish they still made the Ford Fiesta, because I’ve got nowhere to be but Point A and Point B.”

Toyota Prius

With that extra 10mpg and a design like we imagined the future would look in the ’80s, this car says, “I care about the environment and I want everyone to know.”

Chevrolet Corvette

This American sports car par excellence says, “I’ve been saving up for this car since I was eight years old.”

Hummer H2

With a mpg lower than most adult shoe sizes and a body like a tank, this glorified van says, “I wanted to drive a monster truck but I needed somewhere to put the groceries.”

Smart Car

Someone has to one-up the Toyota Prius, and what’s better than a car that looks like you could have bought it out of a vending machine. This car screams, “Fender benders kill!”

Chevrolet Suburban

This scaled-up shoebox weighs as much as an elephant and handles curves just about as well. This car says, “Why did Jon and Kate stop at eight?”

Toyota Camry

Only the sharpest eye can pick a Camry out of a crowd. This car says: “I’ll have a vanilla milkshake please, and hold the cherry on top.”

Chrysler 300

With its throwback looks and flossy grill, the 300 says, “I wanted a luxury car from the ’40s, but I don’t know how to drive a stick.”

Nissan Cube

With its asymmetry and complete lack of aerodynamics, this car is sure to turn heads—sort of like wearing a lab coat and coke-bottle glasses. This car says, “I prefer the old Star Trek.”

Nissan Leaf

As one of the most efficient cars available, the Leaf says, “Let me tell you about GMOs, I have a pamphlet right here in my tote-bag. Of course it’s printed on acid-free paper.”

Jeep Wrangler

This may be the only car on the road that dates back to World War 2. The Wrangler says, “I know I’m just commuting, but you never know when a mud race might break out.”

Saturn SC2

A perennial Craigslist favorite, the Saturn says, “I wanted a scooter, but I like listening to AM radio on my drive.”

Honda Civic

As one of the most reliable cars on the market, and a high resale value to match, the Honda Civic says, “I weigh all my options before making a purchase.” Throw a spoiler on that bad boy and the Civic says: “Fast and Furious should have won an Oscar.”

Honda Civic

Written on Friday, January 17, 2014 by
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